Crafty Warcraft

World War II. Definitely a nasty war by all standards. A war requiring brilliant minds and creative ideas as one can read from this news item. Welcome to the mind of some of history's most important war strategists. Putting female hormones into Hitler's food in an attempt to make him less aggressive? Drop glue on German troops? I figure if these suggestions are considered valid and smart, I may as well throw some ideas of my own. So here are some alternative suggestions that just sprang from my wandering mind. A bit late to bring about Hitler's demise, but they might come in handy for other bad-ass world leaders during wartime:

Frankincense bombing:
Guaranteed mellowness for an entire country.
Warcraft games:
Virtual reality to replace or deflect the need for complete annihilation.
Planking attacks:
Because a stiff enemy just ain't no fun.
Hallmark cards:
Nothing speaks as much as a Hallmark card.
Glamour makeover:
Because looking good equals feeling good.
Free lottery tickets:
Winning price, a ticket to the moon. One-way, non-refundable. No correspondence possible concerning the outcome.
Broadcasting Reggae music:
'Don't worry be happy', 'simmer down', and 'judge not' to induce the feeling of love. Admittedly, the songs 'no woman, no cry' and 'stir it up' might not be suitable in this case, stringent selection is imperative.
Feathers and tar:
It has been known to work throughout history. Worst thing that can happen is that it makes the enemy more fluffy.
Pet presents:
After all, pets help to reduce stress and loneliness, as well as enhance socialization and attitudes.
Vuvuzela precision bombarding:
If it drove people insane at the 2010 World Cup matches, it just might do the trick for an army.

And should all these methods fail, we can always rely on the classical time-out. Hey, I figure if it works for my son, it might work for the Hitlers of the world too.

The truth is out there, so lie to me

While conducting a literature search on the development of cohesion in children I stumbled upon an interesting paper on lying and the use of 'um'. Even though it didn't have any relation whatsoever to the things I was looking for, I couldn't resist the urge to read the paper. But who wouldn't be interested in a paper with the title: 'Use of "um" in the deceptive speech of a convicted murderer', or  'Lies, lies and more lies' for that matter (both by Villar and colleagues). I have always thought that the use of um was a filler, used in order to organize one's thoughts. With this idea in mind, you would expect 'umming' all over the place in case of a lie. But the research by Villar and colleagues shows that umming is actually reduced when people lie compared to when they tell the truth. Their results are based on an experiment in which they told subjects to either lie or tell the truth about an opinion they held, but also based on a comprehensive analysis of truths and lies in police transcripts of a convicted murderer. How's that for a subject? In view of their results, Villar and colleagues argue that the use of um should be regarded as part of authentic, natural communication, which is lacking when one is lying.

Now, when we just moved to the United States we found an interesting television series 'Lie to me' in which Dr. Cal Lightman uses microexpressions (involuntary facial expressions of emotions that last about 1/25 to 1/15 of a second) and body gestures to investigate criminal cases. Wouldn't he be thrilled to be able to use umming as a lie detector?

Suspect: Well, ummm...
Dr. Cal: That's a LIE!
Suspect: but, ummm...
Dr. Cal: Another lie!
Suspect: could you at least let me finish it?

In addition, it also reminded me of a game often played on radio shows in which a person has to talk for one minute without saying 'um'. Apparently, the solution for winning the game is lying.

While on the subject of bad behavior, today I had to reprimand Lucas for refusing to get into the car which was followed by a screaming fit. Once I managed to get him into his car seat: "Sorry mommy. I won't scream anymore, mommy, and I won't yell anymore. And I won't... I won't... Mommy, what else did I do?"